superman

So the news of the week would be that my father fell off the roof on Wednesday night. His ladder slipped, and he hit the driveway on his face. Insert blood, screaming, and the ER... he's OK, THANK GOD!!!!!! Good even, considering one isn't specifically crafted to fall onto one's face from the roof... Now, this is a terrible, life changing event, but since it did not end in catastrophe, let us speculate on what we can learn from this:

1. People don't fly well... at least not on their own.
2. After falling off a roof, you can actually be called lucky.
3. Live in the moment, because you might fall from a roof soon.
4. You actually can't break steel... way to go Dad! (You can, however, bruise it, give it a large gash on it's head, get blood all over the driveway, and make it feel like it was run over by a train for a week or two, so we are NOT suggesting you try this at home)

I love you Dad. I'm glad you're OK... let's keep both feet on the ground for a while, shall we?

Caroline, or Change

flowers from Marta and Guy

These are beautiful. Thank you!!!!!

ouch

My finger hurts. Here's a picture of the specific finger that hurts. I don't think you can see the spot too well, but it hurts and is tender to the touch. While I do acknowledge that you might not care about this, this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want to. OK I just found the Neosporin... hold on... k... soothing...good stuff. To be continued....

The sewer

I got out of my car, innocently stepped onto my front lawn, stepped on something black in the grass, and promply fell through the "black thing" and into the sewer! No, I am not making this up... how could I? I would like to take a moment to personally thank Nat for his reminder that snakes, rats, lizards, swamp thing, and quite possibly big foot all live in the sewers. Thank you for that. I'm fine... until the creatures get out of the now uncovered hole, or as I like to call it, scene of the catastrophe.

the frog

There was just a frog on my mailbox. This shit does not happen in Michigan. Seriously. Geez.

Lindsay's scream

Lindsay: (screams) Laura get in here right now!
Laura: (grabs her phone in case 911 is needed and runs to the bathroom)
Lindsay: (in her underware... which is relevant to the story, I swear) There is a lizard in the bathroom on my shirt.
Laura: Oh my god! Are you serious?
Lindsay: I can't make shit like this up. I have to leave in ten minutes!
Laura: Wear something else!
Lindsay: I can't, the lizard is on top of my costume!
Laura: shit
Lindsay: What do we do?
Laura: We need a bucket.
Lindsay: I have a bucket (Lindsay gets the bucket)
Laura: and tongs
Lindsay: Well don't kill it!
Laura: Are you crazy! I'm going to scoop it AND the shirt into the bucket and take it outside.
Lindsay: You're so brave.
Laura: (armed with tongs and a bucket tip toes into the bathroom, approaches the counter, and runs out screaming)
Lindsay: Sarah (girl that lives upstairs) likes snakes. Let's call her.
Laura: Yes!
Lindsay: Fuck, my phone is under the Lizard.
Laura: Are you kidding?
Lindsay: No!
Laura: fuck!
Lindsay: We'll have to move out.
Laura: Yes.
Lindsay: fuck
Laura: ok I can do this... but we'll still have to move.
Lindsay: yes
Laura: (bravely approaches the counter again still with tongs and bucket in hand) What if it jumps?
Lindsay: Well it must have been fast to get into my cloths while I was in the shower.
Laura: fuck
Lindsay: maybe it has magical powers
Laura: what if it went through one of our rooms.
Both: impossible
Laura: ( slowly grabs the edge of the shirt with the tongs and pulls it into the bucket. She gets the shirt and the lizard into the bucket and runs outside to dump it. She then retrieves the shirt, with the tongs, or course, and puts it back in the bucket)
Lindsay: oh my god you did it. Where'd you put it.
Laura: Outside. You'll have to burn the shirt.
Lindsay: clearly
Laura: You can't leave me here all by myself!
Lindsay: I'm so sorry!