Miami here we come

I'm leaving for my final audition in Miami, Florida in a few days. I'm ready for this to all be over! I tend to come up with brilliant life plans for myself every week or so on average... so it's weird for me that the idea of a doctoral degree and opera direction has stuck for as long as it has. I figure if I don't get back into school, I'll move somewhere fabulous like St. Lucia and stand on the beach singing for food. There is, of course, also the back up plan of selling fresh bagels out of a van, or the lifelong dream of hosting an infomercial, but it's important to be realistic in one's dreams and perhaps the infomercial idea creeps slightly beyond that. No matter what happens, I would just like to state now, in writing, that I will be at least successful enough to have an entire brand of chocolate named after me at some point... is that so much to ask? Unwrap a Laura!

I should rename the blog, but the lack of resulting confusion would be no fun

Well, I thought there was a strong possibility that I would end up back in Houston after a nice break living back in Michigan. That seems to no be in the cards anymore though, and as the great saying goes, when one door closes, don't pinch your fingers. So onward with the adventures of Laura in where ever she finds herself. This week, that means a road trip with Merry Beth to Maryland! I'm extremely excited to get the doctoral auditions underway, but also equally excited to spend some quality time singing loudly in the car with MB. Don't worry, she's in charge of navigation. You know you've been friends a long time when you don't even have to tell her she's in charge of navigation. To put Laura in charge of navigation would be such a hysterical joke, no one would even consider it a possibility. I was momentarily navigating on the 24 hour drive down to Houston, only to miss the ONE turn in the first 18 hours of the trip due to an enthralling game of 20 questions with Kal. Go ahead, ask him about it. He remembers! So anyway, wish me luck!!!!

special michigan update

I obviously never intended this to center only around creepy crawly things, but I find myself settled back in Michigan, only to find a GIANT SPIDER in my house! I know I have a tendency to exaggerate stories in an effort to make them more entertaining, but in the interest of pure accuracy, I will present actual facts for once. The spider, though I thought it was a tarantula at the time, was a wolf spider, about the size of half of my palm and very very fuzzy. I was alone at the time of discovery, and used prior knowledge of a bucket, a shoe and a glove, as adapted from the Houston lizard tongs, bucket, and shirt scenario. I did manage to get the spider (let's call him mortimer in hopes of making him seem cute and non threatening so I have a hope of sleeping ever again) outside without giving myself a heart attack, though some shaking was involved. I did consider standing in the room, on the table of course, and waiting until someone else got home to take care of it, but I had rehearsal and this counts as the ultimate example of the show must go on. I considered just walking away, but the only thing worse than a huge spider in your house, i's a lost huge spider in your house. The alarming end to mortimer is that I couldn't find him outside a few minutes later. I'm telling myself he's well on his way to a warmer land... maybe mars for example.

why 110 degrees is ridiculous

It was 91 degrees today with a heat index of 110. What is a heat index? It's how hot it actually feels with the humidity. That is too damn hot. Seriously, hot. In the car, hot. Outside, hot. Inside, hot. In the freezer, not hot, but not safe either if you remember that one punky brewster episode where she gets stuck in the fridge and dies... maybe she doesn't die, but I think that was the moral of the story. So the only way to deal with this is to flee the state. Sadly I have to wait two weeks to do this, but as long as I don't melt before that, things should be great.

possible book title

A bucket of fried chicken has never sounded worse

Termites

Well, now we have termites. I'm not making this up. I could, but why bother when good shit actually happens anyway. So I've learned several things about bugs here...

1. When the bug guy shows up, you're supposed to have caught a bug so he knows what kind it is. I know you're thinking I can't be serious, but this was actually said to me)
2. Termites don't eat people, only wood, so unless you're made of wood, no worries.
3. Windex kills termites.
4. Termites are not welcome here.
5. The bug guy gets offended when you follow him around with soap telling him to wash his hands and not touch the bugs, they're gross. Well, I'm sorry bug dude but it's true.
6. Termites are different looking than fleas and you're dumb if you can't tell the difference.
7. Houston sucks.
8. Bugs suck.
9. Vodka doesn't suck.
10. Dyed shoes are stupid.

Ode to snow caps

Oh snow caps you are so good
like a chocolate river of joy
yummy


oh well apparently an Ode has a specific number of syllables... who knew... well anyway I just can't be bothered with stupid details like that (no offense if you take offense to bad poetry, but in fairness there are better things to worry about in a day, I'm not judging, but relax a little, seriously)